"Resurrection and Life (Hearing)

It is 10:13 PM, and I just realized that I missed Lectio Divina tonight. Lectio is a contemplative prayer practice that a friend of mine leads for the online church group that I have been part of since Covid invaded the personal, physical spaces that once drew us into our own separate church bubbles.

Knowing that Covid has had so many horrible consequences, this group is one of its blessings. Had we not been called together as an experiment of online ministry by Nadia Bolz-Weber and Mother Superior through the Chapel, we never would have met and become close spiritual siblings who decided to stick together even after our beloved Chapel ended.

Now we are part of Kardia Lumina hosted by Rev. Cindy Pincus. This international family of God gathers for Lectio Divina once a week on Tuesday Nights and three times a week for daily prayer (I know). We were called together as spiritual misfits completely aware that we don’t fit into any of the typical churchy stereotypes, so meeting for daily prayer three times a week is quite appropriate actually. We do not feel the need to conform even though we know that there are seven days a week if we were to truly make it daily. I digress… a lot!

All of that to tell you that I am missing Lectio Divina tonight and that is a rare occurrence for me. But tonight I missed logging on because I am sitting out on my bridge (front steps for non-Newfoundlanders). It is dark and damp and chilly, but I am too amazed to go inside just yet. My beloved Roxie is at my feet and I am awestruck by my surroundings.

It isn’t that there is anything truly spectacular to see tonight. The stars that can be numbered in the millions in this small, dark little town are covered by clouds and my gorgeous old church built in 1912 is lit up and lovely. It never ceases to inspire me with its beauty, history, and faithful church family that gathers within it for worship and work together. But it is not what my eyes see that captures my attention. The earth is singing resurrection into my ears tonight.

I have had hearing aids for the last three years. For the last three months or so, they have been broken and unable to pay the $1000 for repairs, I have waited to receive a new pair so the insurance company will assist with the purchase. Over those months, I lost a lot. I couldn’t be in conversation with a group or hear responses from my congregation when I asked questions from the pulpit. If someone wore a mask or turned away from me or spoke from the back of a room while I was at the front, I couldn’t hear them. When I visit my church families the inability to hear gets in the way of relationship building.

However, today was my audiologist appointment and I received a loaner pair until my order comes in next week. While what I just typed is true, it doesn’t represent half of the excitement I feel as I hear the sounds of my sleepy little home tonight.

It is like there is a resurrection of new life coursing through my ears! The little stream that runs in the ravine beside my house is full with the melt off of snow from the hill and woods across the road. The Atlantic Ocean that is 200 ft from my back door rumbles and cracks as the ice shifts. I can hear Roxie happily snoozing and snoring at my feet. Any cars that do come by can be heard from a long way off and I happily count the seconds from first hearing them to seeing them whiz by. There are dogs barking down and across the bay and their voices drift over the water to my eardrums. I can even hear my own footsteps leading me into the world that I love to explore!

The hills really are alive with the sound of music! And I missed all that for so long. This has to be a resurrection! New life pulsing through my ears while my tears of joy and happiness splash onto my jeans.

I remember coming out of the hearing aid store the very first time with my new hearing aids and I couldn’t move from the stoop once the door to the shop closed behind me. My brain was overwhelmed. What was that noise? After a few minutes, I realized it was the sound of songbirds twittering their joy in the trees around the parking lot. I could always hear the loud and raucous calling of the crows, but little birds with little songs… I hadn’t heard them in years and I didn’t know what I was missing until I heard it again.

This time, the ability to hear the high and low frequencies, no matter how hard I listened, was dead to me. And I missed it. I grieved its loss. But today, it has all come back and the Spirit of Life has filled me with joy, wonder and appreciation once again!"

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